What to Expect During Your First Trauma Therapy Session in Brooklyn, NY
Updated: Oct 7
If you're considering beginning trauma therapy, taking the first step might feel like the hardest part. The prospect of opening up to a stranger about your life's most painful moments can feel scary and leave you wondering what those first few sessions will really be like. What will my therapist ask me? Do I have to share my whole life story and trauma history right away? Am I really ready to delve into these parts of my past?
All these fears and questions are normal. Therapy, and trauma therapy in particular, is a vulnerable process and with vulnerability often comes fear. Luckily, knowing what to expect in trauma therapy can help ease some of the fear and make it easier to take that first step.
You don't have to come to your first trauma therapy session with everything "figured out." All you need to start with is a desire to heal. In this post, I'll share what you can expect the beginning of your trauma therapy journey to look like and answer common questions around how to get the most out of your first session.
What My Clients Say Starting Trauma Therapy Feels Like
During our first sessions, my clients often report feeling a range of emotions and fears. Many report that they feel nervous coming into the session because they're not sure what to expect or how intense the session will be. Others say they feel a sense of pressure to share their full story in the first session, because they assume that I need all the details right away in order to start helping them. As I share with them what the structure of therapy will be like, my clients often say they feel less overwhelmed by the prospect of starting trauma therapy and more confident that the process will be helpful to them.
The First Session Is About Getting to Know You
In your first session with a trauma therapist, you won't be expected to tell your entire life's story or detail your full trauma history. Instead, your therapist will ask specific questions in order to start getting to know you and to understand how they can best help you. Some topics you're likely to cover in a first session are:
What's bringing you to therapy now?
What is most challenging for you in your day-to-day life?
What are your current support systems and coping strategies?
What are you hoping will change as a result of therapy?
By exploring these topics, you and your therapist can start to lay the groundwork for the rest of the therapy process, without requiring you to discuss more than you're comfortable with right away.
You Don't Have to Share Everything Right Away
In trauma therapy, there is no pressure to start by diving into your trauma headfirst. You won't have to immediately recount painful memories in order to start your healing process. Over the course of your trauma therapy experience, you will be able to share your history and work through it at a pace that feels right for you. In the meantime, you and your therapist will spend the beginning of the process establishing trust and emotional safety and building up your toolbox for managing the present-day impact of your trauma.
Trauma Therapy Starts With Building Safety and Trust
Research has shown that one of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes in therapy, regardless of the therapeutic model being used, is a strong relationship between the client and their therapist. Trust and positive regard between therapist and client allow for more effective collaboration, creates more space for the client to be emotionally open, and helps the therapist better tailor the therapy towards each client's individual preferences, identities, and sensitivities. Therefore, one of your trauma therapist's top priorities will be building and maintaining a positive relationship with you. That will start in the first session and will also continue throughout the therapy process.
Your Trauma Therapist Will Want to Understand How Your Past is Impacting Your Present
In your first session, rather than focusing exclusively on the details of "what happened," your trauma therapist will be curious about how what happened is affecting you now. This means they will ask questions about experiences you may be having in the present including anxiety, difficulty relaxing, emotional numbness, becoming easily overwhelmed, or negative feelings and beliefs about yourself or the world around you. Because trauma can also deeply impact our relationships with others, your therapist might also want to know if you're experiencing relationship struggles, difficulty trusting others, difficulty setting boundaries, or fear of abandonment. By unpacking the specific ways your trauma history is affecting you now, you and your therapist will be able to start clarifying your goals and mapping out a plan for addressing the issues that are burdening you the most.
You'll Also Begin to Identify Your Goals for Therapy
You may arrive at your first trauma therapy session with a clear idea of what your goals for therapy are, or you may feel you need some help clarifying your goals. In either case, you can expect that you and your therapist will spend time in your first session exploring what you are most hoping to get out of therapy. Some common goals that those seeking trauma therapy report include:
Reduce anxiety and feelings of overwhelm
Feel safer and more relaxed in their body
Break free from painful relationship patterns
Reduce negative self-talk and build greater self-compassion
Process past experiences so that they feel less controlled by the past
Your goals don't need to be perfectly defined before you start and it's also normal for them to evolve over time. You and your therapist will continue to check in on your goals throughout the therapy process to make sure that the therapy is continuing to serve your needs.
Will You Start EMDR or Trauma Processing in the First Session?
If you're seeking EMDR therapy or other methods for processing your trauma, you may be curious about how soon you and your therapist will start this part of the therapy. In EMDR and other forms of trauma processing, preparation is an essential part of the process. This means that before starting the processing phase of therapy, your trauma therapist will want to get to know you and ensure that you have the resources and support you need. Ultimately, the exact timing of when you will start EMDR processing is highly individual and will be decided between you and your therapist based on your goals and needs.
Wondering If Whether What Happened to You "Counts" as Trauma?
One concern that can hold many survivors back from seeking help is the worry that what they've experienced wasn't "big enough" to warrant trauma therapy. Minimizing the impact of one's experiences is common amongst those that have experienced trauma, as survivors often have to downplay the magnitude of their experiences in order to survive. In truth, trauma comes in many forms. Trauma can be a single event or ongoing experiences over time. It can result from a near death experience, childhood abuse and neglect, emotionally damaging relationships in adulthood, or oppression within larger systems. Regardless of the specific details of your experience, if you've experienced something that caused you pain then and continues to cause you pain now, then it counts, and you deserve support.
How to Prepare for Your First Trauma Therapy Session
While we've established that you don't have to come into your first session with a detailed plan of what to say, a fully formed trauma narrative, or certainty that your experiences "count" as trauma, there are some steps you can take prior to your first session that can help you get the most out of it. In preparing for your first session, it may be helpful to:
Take stock of what has been most difficult for you lately and what what's making you want to start therapy now
Consider what you hope will be different for you as a result of your time in therapy
Write down any questions you have for your therapist so you can make sure they get answered in the first session
If possible, plan to give yourself some time to decompress, reflect, and care for yourself after the session. This can be a helpful practice after any subsequent session as well in order to allow for a softer transition between the vulnerable therapy space and the rest of your day
Most importantly, know that by showing up for your first session, you are accomplishing a lot and allowing yourself to step into a phase of healing where you no longer have to be alone with your experiences. The first session is, above all, the beginning of your path towards greater peace, connection, and joy. And that's something to celebrate.
If you're curious about starting trauma therapy in Brooklyn, NY, I'd love to connect with you!
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